Friday, February 10, 2006

Gym Shorts

Watching Close-Captioned TVs

Two weeks ago my gym installed about 12 TVs. This is after promising to install them when the gym first opened three years ago. The channels that usually get play are CNN, CP24, MuchMusic, TSN, and Rogers Sportsnet.

Today, I had CNN to the left of me, MuchMusic in front of me and Regis & Kelly to the right of me. MuchMusic couldn't be heard, and it didn't matter because I was listening to my iPod.

The other two TVs had the captioning option on. On CNN, Joe Lieberman spoke in clich├ęs about something I didn't care about.

On Regis & Kelly, it's wedding week. From the captioning, I gathered this was an annual event during the sweeps period on TV. Also from the captioning, I gathered that this whole concept was the dumbest thing I've seen in a while.

An Open Letter To Shower Users In The Men's Change Room

Dear Sir,

I have a small request to make. Very small. See, I understand that you have just had a killer workout. You've been sweating like a champ, right? That's what they say. So, I can understand that you feel you cannot wait to get home and take a shower. That you must take a shower right NOW -- not a moment to waste, really.

And here's where my request comes in. If you're taking a shower, and don't suffer from the same condition that Tobias Funke from Arrested Development suffers from, then you'll probably remove all your clothing.

What I'd like you to do is to keep some piece of cloth, a towel maybe, around your groin area while you'rtravelingng from your locker to the shower, and vice versa. Because quite frankly, if I have to see you without a towel one more time, I just might choke on my vomit.

Thank you, and enjoy your workout.

Event Staff Apply Here

Every time I go to the gym there are a number of people wearing "Event Staff" t-shirts. I don't know of any events that are taking place at the gym, and yet there's this huge staff there to help with them. I think I'll launch an investigation into this to determine a) why my gym is holding secret events? and b) why do they need to be so well staffed?



Kaitlyn said...

Don't knock wedding week on Regis and Kelly. In high school, my February break corresponded with Wedding week, and I spent many a happy morning eating toast and watching the ridiculousness unfold. It's a lame concept, but if you watch the entire week, it kind of grows on you. It's a shame you only got the end of it.

Czobit said...

Haha. I'll have to take your word for it.