Today You're Supposed To Get Drunk
As you know today is the day you wear green and pretend your Irish. You go to an authentic Irish pub and corrupt your liver. It's written in the tradition of St. Patrick's Day.
But I'm the voice of descent, here to kill the party.
I've never understood this holiday. Maybe I don't pretend I'm Irish enough or maybe I just don't need a saintly excuse to drink. Whatever it is, I can't say I've ever celebrated St. Patrick's Day. Hell, I don't think I know anyone Irish. Okay, I'm sure I do, but I don't know - you know what I mean?
When I saw a line-up that stretched around the corner of an Irish bar near where I work, I wondered what it is about alcohol that captivates these people to line-up to get drunk. I'll never get it. I always thought you don't set out to get drunk; it just sort of happens.
Today, Slate points out that St. Patrick as we know him is no different than the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny (Santa Clause is, of course, real).
A lie isn't going to stop drinking to St. Patrick, so cheers and watch the glasses go.