Friday, May 19, 2006

The Peeves


I could have called this post "Pet Peeves," but that would have been inaccurate. First, I don't frequently make these complaints, and second, the expression "pet peeve" is just stupid. I don't care for it. Let's call that my first peeve.

Too Sticky Apple Stickers

The last two apples I've had have had stickers that were far too sticky. I've removed the sticker, which left a sticky, gluey residue. I wouldn't be annoyed so much if it hadn't taken intense scrubbing to remove the residue. At lunch, I spent about two minutes scratching and rubbing the glue off. Before that, I used a knife to remove the offending apple skin.

I understand the reason behind the apple stickers (I worked four horrible years in a produce department), but I see no need for the extra glue, which if eaten, probably isn't the healthiest, least-toxic thing to do.

"That's Hilarious."

I hate this phrase it often follows a story that is the opposite of hilarious, which is unhilarious. At work, I overheard one co-worker tell another co-worker a horrible, convoluted story. The storyteller had no comedic ability. After the storyteller finished, the listener says, "That's hilarious." So hilarious, the listener never laughed.

And Speaking About Laughter...

I cannot stand an annoying laugh. You know the kind that has you reaching for Gravol® and a bucket, because you know that even if you take the Gravol® you're still going to vomit. The laugh is that offending. I can't stand that kind of laugh. Nope. Just can't. Reader's Digest says that laughter is the best medicine, but that's not true when you come across a Gravol® Laugh.


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