Monday, June 19, 2006

Pre-Game Post

The Dream

Game Seven of the Stanley Cup Finals. Edmonton. Carolina. Overtime. And the Oilers win. They celebrate, cheer. Their goalie Jussi Markkenan wears a white shirt and a cap that reads, "2006 Stanley Cup Champions." And then, the goal gets called back. Ryan Smyth was in the crease.

I wake up.

That was my dream. First, why the hell am I dreaming about the Stanley Cup Finals? It's hard getting around that. But there's a couple of problems with the dream. First, the person I identified as Markkenan was actually Jarri Kurri. I must have substituted Kurri for Markkenan because I've never seen Markkenan without his mask. Second, the crease will was abolished a few seasons ago following Brett Hull's infamous toe play in the 1999 Finals.

Third, and lastly, a 'dream' where the Edmonton Oilers win the 2006 Stanley Cup Playoffs is technically a nightmare.

...

Ukraine plays their second game of the World Cup in about an hour. If they lose, they go home or to their mansions in and around Europe. If they win, well, they'll still have to win another.

...

The Toronto Star's front-page has a photo of Paris Hilton at the Muchmusic Video Awards, making the Star, officially, a rag.

I'll be back after the 'Canes, I hope, raise the Cup.

--Czobit

8 comments:

Kerry said...

I'm personally hoping Gary Bettman gets drunk, cancels the season with two minutes left in the third period, and no one wins.

Czobit said...

That's also an acceptable finish to this season.

nicole said...

Mmmm I'm pretty sure Holland is onto the next round already, unlike Ukraine.

Czobit said...

I'm trying to figure out what your point is, but I don't think you have one.

Kerry said...

Actually, the traditional heckling of Bettman as he presents the Conn Smythe Trophy and the Stanley Cup is quite often the only thing that makes any Cup final worth watching.

(Every year up until recently*, like clockwork)

Arena announcer: (over wild cheering, assuming the home team has won) "Ladies and gentlemen, to present the Conn Smythe Trophy, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman."

The crowd boos loudly. Bettman says something but is inaudible -- even with his microphone -- because of all the booing. He is presumably talking about the effort and determination put forth by the NHL's players, but could just as easily be telling the crowd to go fuck themselves. He announces the winner of the Conn Smythe Trophy. The crowd cheers, provided that the winner is from the team that won the Cup (and that the home team won the Cup and fans aren't trying to escape the arena).

Bettman and MVP pose with trophy. MVP pretends to like Bettman. MVP skates off.

Camera cuts to people bringing the Stanley Cup onto the ice. Crowd cheers some more (assuming their team won).

Bettman starts talking again. Crowd resumes booing. Bettman invites team captain to accept the Cup. Captain accepts the Cup, pretends to like Bettman.

Players skate around with the Cup. Bettman disappears from sight. Crowd cheers a lot. No one is entirely sure which makes them happier.


* And then someone realized that this is not a popular man and they just sent him out to start talking without a formal introduction. But the heckling remains. And it's the best part.

Czobit said...

Lol. Yes, I can't wait for that tradition to continue tonight.

nicole. said...

Holland is going to win the World Cup.

Czobit said...

Maybe. But more likely not.