Patience Is Highly Overrated
Five minutes ago I spent 10 minutes brushing my teeth. Floss. Rinse. Brush. Rinse (x2). I'm not sure if my teeth are clean; nothing is good enough. I need a haircut. Maybe. I'd have to find the motivation first.
It's incredible. You don't understand how much false motivation it takes me to sit and type these words. You shouldn't care though; I'm not down or depressed or any of the shit that people use as excuses. It's hard to write when you have nothing to say; I find that each day.
Patience is a virtue; it's also a cliché.
I've been checking my email each day for something, for anything, for a sign that something is happening. I still know nothing about my internship that's scheduled to start in three months.
Forgive me for my concern or my impatience, but I'm fucking tired of waiting for information most people in similar situations know and have known for some time. I worried that when I switched streams this sort of bullshit could happen. It's not a worry anymore; it's reality. I'm exasperated. It's a shit situation I got into. If you asked my in April what I thought of the online stream, I'd say I was excited at the chance to do something new and happy to be out of the newspaper stream. If you asked me today the same question, I'd say I'm disappointed in how unorganized it seems. It's only July and things could change quickly, but knowing nothing fails to inspire enthusiasm.
So, I've waited and waited and will wait more. The clock continues to move.