If I Did Dress Up
Obviously I'm far too cool and too old to dress up for Halloween. What would the neighbours think? Oh, that's right: fuck my neighbours. Morons, they are.
But if I were to dress up for Halloween, I would wear a suit. And then when someone guessed what I was -- lawyer, gangster, douche bag wearing a suit -- I would say, No, I'm going to a funeral later.
Then the questioner would feel awful. That's the spirit of Halloween, right?
Or am I missing the point?