Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Dumb Robots

Less Than Meets the Eye

Last night I finally watched (a part) of the "Transformers" movie released in this past summer. I had received positive reviews from everyone who had seen the movie in theatres, but I also knew that critics savaged the film. So which camp do I fall into after watching (a part) of "Transformers"?

I gave that away too easily.

The problem with the movie is that watching it is no different than taking a hammer to your skull and pounding your temple into mush. The movie is cheesy, illogical, ridiculous and annoying -- simultaneously.

The last movie I saw directed by Michael Bay, was 2003's "Bad Boys II"; which was O.K., but obviously not a four-star masterpiece. In between that film and "Transfomers," Bay directed one feature-length film, "The Island" (also savaged by critics). That tells me that Bay hasn't learned much.

In fact, he's regressed. Bay's attempt to be satirical and realistic in "Transformers" produces a schizophrenic quality - the director not knowing what he wants his film to be. Bay should have cut the high school humour, cut the film by 20 minutes (I gave up at the end and left), and should have had someone actually research the U.S. Department of Defense rather than depict scenes that were less believable than something from a "Saturday Night Live" sketch.

Day turned to night several times in the film, defying simple principles of time. So-called strong women characters were ultimately belittled. And Michael Bay created a movie whose fans must apologize: "Oh, it's just a summer blockbuster."

That doesn't mean it's O.K. to have a B-level script, an A-level budget, and a C-level final cut.


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